In My End is My Beginning

Well, I am nearing the finale of this adventure. I am afraid it is all over but the cryin´. I left the boys on the beach in Chile, basking in the sun, frolicing in waves, and drinking pisco sour. I am back in Ecuador now, and it appears that I have come full circle on this trip. Just 90 days ago, Jansa and I arrived in Quito, and everything was so new, foreign, exciting. What a ride it has been! I have just started to reflect upon this journey, and I am sure that I will still be soaking it in months from now. For this blog, I am not going to even try to write any conclusive notes of self-righteous enlightenment. You will have to ask me later about attaining travel Nirvana. Or, tune into QVC and buy my book ¨A D-Bag´s Guide to Travel: Not All Those Who Wander are Lost¨ at a one time low price of $7.99.

Whoo....Okay! Jansa, Foley, and myself spent last week on the coast of Chile, just north of Santiago. In the elegant seaport city of Valparaiso, we took an interesting boat tour with a local sailor that lived up to the vulgar stereotype. We watched tango in the streets and played Russian roulette with the seafood menu every opportunity we could. We visited the small beach town of Quintay with its rocky beaches and beautiful coast line.

Upon Jansa´s request, we spent the last two days together in a small hippie fishing village called Horcòn. We sought out a local slum lord and rented out a closet sized room that made the dorms in De Smet look like airplane hangers. We did have a bathroom until Foley decided to make it into his personal sandbox. Anyway, we played in the ocean, ate empanadas, and I won my third consecutive World Body Surfing Championship. Each night, we would devote ourselves to the sacred and age-old Gonzaga tradition, to drink a fair amount of cerveza and bullshit about everything from the existence of God to fart jokes and hermit crabs.

Funnyness aside, this time spent with my amigos has been something special. What a pleasure to travel and share these wonderful experiences with two of my lifelong friends. I could not be more grateful for the loyal companionship of Jansa and Foley.

This is ¨The Ramblin´ Corkademus¨ signing off. Until the next adventure.

Go-Go Powerwheels Thru the Patagonia

After 2-1/2 months of riding the bus systems everywhere, we decided it was time for a change. We thought we should see the Lakes District of northern Patagonia with a little more intimacy. We needed a car! We were going to be driving through some pretty rugged country, so we wanted something tough. You know, the type of rig that can handle any ripio road. So, we headed down to Bariloche´s local Toys-R-Us and rented the micro-machine (pictured below).

Finally, free of the auto-bus ball and chain, we set out for the mountains. We had it all. The open road, a couple rolls of tp, 12 liters of gaseosa, and enough Yerba Mate to supply Buenos Aires for a week. We were going to camp and see as much as we could in seven days. And of course, I was elected to be "El Conductor". Both Jansa and Foley recognized my skills behind the wheel. I am surely destined for the Dakar Rally.

So, what did we do and see. In short, we froliced on beaches, mingled with hippies, slept underneath the stars, hiked to glaciers, picniced under a volcano, bathed in waterfalls, and ate like kings. The usual. We got really dirty (some of us were already dirty) and we found out what it is like to live out of a Geo Metro. It was heaven.

La Fuerza de Iguazu

Well, I have been slacking a little on the blog. We have been really busy twiddling our thumbs, changing shoelaces, etc.

So, first of all. Look what the cat drug in (picture below)! . . . . . .


We are now the tango trio. Nicholas ¨The Queso Hombre¨ Foley has entered our world!

Our travels in Argentina has been awesome! It is hard to complain about juicy steak and beautiful women. Before meeting Foley, Jansa and myself enjoyed the wineries of the north, the charm of Cordoba, some long bus rides, and la guitarra classico. After snatching our third amigo, we settled him in by draggin´ the poor guy all over Buenos Aires. Recently, we visited one of the big ticket items for all of South America.... Iguazu Falls.


The Cataratas de Iguazu stem from the Iguazu River which divides Brazil and Argentina. The system of waterfalls consists of approximately 275 individual cascades along 1.67 miles of the river. Some of which rise as high as 269 feet.

The stats are impressive, but when you actually hear the roar and feel the spray of this unfathomable natural force, you are likely to check your pulse. Is this Heaven or Narnia? I am well convinced that there are very few places on this Earth that are as special in natural wonder and sheer magnitude. Once again, impossible to describe in full. No words.



I think I will have to agree with Jansa when he said, ¨I feel sorry for anyone that has to walk to another waterfall with me again.¨ See the video at the bottom for further explanation.


¨Garganta de Diablo¨

A New Year... and Other Daily Shenanigans

With the arrival of the New Year (See New Year´s photo above), Jansa and I have fondly waved goodbye to our travel lives of 2008. Farewell $1.00 lunches and thatched roof huts. Bon voyage Inca influence and bathrooms that make the little league outhouse look like the jacuzzi suite at the Playboy Mansion. Goodbye $3.00 rooms and Quechua charm.

At the same time, we are learning to embrace what is new here in Argentina. Hola modernization and conquistadors. Although I have kept this blog free from superficial gibberish, let me give a Montaner HOOOOWDDDY to the chicas de Argentina (The sexy Latina sass and a full set of teeth are welcomed qualities). And of course, news that shocked the world, welcome Nick Foley as the new addition to the ramblin´ duo (Starting Jan. 8th, he will undoubtedly add some spice to our married life).

There is the new and the old, but some things will never change. The following are day-to-day snippets from our travel lives.

Aji --> It means hot sauce, salsa, and all things picante! While I find aji to be an essential nectar for all food across South America, Jansa cannot so much as think about it without breaking into a sweat. Note: It can have negative effects. Consume with caution. Not all aji is born equal.

Overnight Bus --> It is a noble method of travel, but can be a gamble. Rule #1 . . . Don´t get sick. Rule #2 . . . Avoid sitting by the bathroom. Rule #3 . . . Always bring headphones or earplugs. Rule #4 . . . Bring a variety of snacks and water (Oreos and Sublime). Note: If you like pirated action films dubbed in Spanish and set to full blast, then the overnight bus is perfect for you (We just completed the round robin: Bruce Willis, Jean Claude Van Damm, Steven Segal, and Chuck Norris). Also, in South America the horn has replaced the need for brakes. More horn, less brakes (Rule #5 should be . . . . learn to pray the ¨Our Father¨).

Sloth and Stallion --> Referring to Jansa´s agonizing slow pace in life. ¨Si madruga, Dios le ayuda,¨ is a great Spanish saying that Jansa has not taken a liking to. It means, if you wake early, God will help you. He prefers, ¨Diez horas para dormir cada noche y muchas siestas de gato.¨ This one means, ten hours of sleep per night and many cat naps.

Beer --> One of the 6 food groups and an essential element for conversational Spanish. Ecuador had one primary brewski available, while Peru could offer three in most places, all of which tasted exactly the same. I even challenge the Marcus Duffys of the world to a taste test. Argentina seems to have a wider selection (maybe 5). We have even found a dark beer (something besides a pilsner). Note: The bottles have gotten progressively bigger as we have moved south. This gradual change has been deceptive and has resulted in a morning headache or two.

Jansa sidenote: If Cory is going to attack my laid back lifestyle then it should be only fair that I get a rebutal. If I am going to be dubbed a sloth then I think it should be made clear that Cory cannot be a self-proclaimed stallion... I think an overly anxious chicken with his head cut off will suffice. Just look at this picture... Its 9am and we have a fresh cup of tea and breakfast coming our way amidst the stunning terrace views of Huraza, Peru. Yet, Cory is somehow managing to stress himself out (again the picture speaks for itself) over not knowing enough Spanish or about all the things he has on his to do list (he has a new one everyday) when in actuality we don´t have a thing to do all day but catch a bus that night. If that name doesn´t work we can also go with my personal favorite, Sprintasaurus Rex. There is no other adequate way to describe this man´s inability to walk at nothing short of a sprinter´s pace (watch your back Ussain Bolt)everywhere we go.

All that being said, Cory and I seem to balance each other out perfectly. And despite our friendly bickering we are the happiest traveling duo known to South America and I am forever grateful for his companionship.